Bondage (and I'm Not Talking Peeing Hookers Here)

[This post is intended as social satire. Troll comments will be deleted and blocked at my discretion.]

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I could not believe this, but I checked it out with several online sources, so it must be true. President Trump has his Chief-of-Staff, Reince Priebus, looking into the legal obstacles to reinstating slavery by use of Executive Order to rescind the Emancipation Proclamation. They want to create a DNA registry, and anyone descended from a former slave would be returned to the heirs of the original owners.

You Don't Have to Respect the Man, but You Must Respect the Office

I returned home last evening after my first trip to the ER and hospital stay of the new year. I haven't been eating or sleeping well for several months. I have lost a lot of weight, I was weak, dehydrated, and was struggling. Last Wednesday, my wife and son rushed me to the ER because I could feel my body shutting down.

I don't remember any of the intake process or being transferred to a room, but I woke up to the usual assortment of tubes coming out of my body and beeping medical equipment. After five days I was stable enough to be discharged. I did okay last night, and so far I am resting comfortably this morning, but there's a long way to go. I have a home health nurse coming in at noon today, and of course my son is here taking care of me.

Now, I am going to relate one very off color story here, so if you think you may be offended, or easily grossed out, STOP reading.

It was interesting to be in a medical facility during this time because, without exception, there were no Trump fans in the house. Friday morning, which I had the duty nurse write-in on my room whiteboard as Black Friday, I had the inaugural on in the background.

Do purely to the nurses' rotation schedule, they came in to work on me as the high officials arrived at the Capitol. Part of the routine was for the nurses to administer a suppository and get me on a bedside commode. They left me with the call button and gave me a little privacy. I sat and watched the proceedings.

The nurses had been giving me something called a brown bomber - a concoction of prune juice, orange juice, and milk of magnesia. As the president-elect approached the podium, I could feel the deep grumblings and pressure build, and as he placed his hand on the bible and began to repeat the oath, I let loose (the operative word being 'loose').

I took a Trump dump. It was satisfying on many levels.

P.S. I won't even mention my Hail to the Chief sonata.

Pack Attack

My younger son Ben stopped by before the start of the Green Bay-Cowboys game.

Ben: I hope the Cowboys kick their ass.

Me: I'm going with the Packers.

Ben: Why? You hate cheeseheads.

Me: I lived in Texas. I didn't like the people. They were Trump people. I don't like Trump people.

Ben: I'm a Trump people.

Me: I know.

Unorthodox

I am traditional, as opposed to conservative, and take an orthodox approach... No, no. Let me rephrase that.

I do not like the uber-liberals, any more than I like the uber-conservatives. Although I have nothing against Uber drivers. In fact, my son is one. A driver, I mean.

Wait, let me try again. I consider myself to be a social progressive, but since I am basically anti-social, I am simply a progressive. I looked up the word progressive, and saw that one definition is he who pursues a reform policy - which takes me back to my first paragraph.

I'll repost when I figure this thing out.

Blast from the Past

My friend Bob recently posted this:

I had fun thinking back!!! List 10 albums that made a lasting impression on you as a TEENAGER, but only one per band/artist. Don't take too long and don't think too long.

Here is my response:

Hey Bob, I let this question ruminate for a bit, then I did as you suggested, and quickly jotted down the records that came to mind. In no particular order...

1. Pink Floyd, The Dark Side of the Moon

2. George Carlin, FM & AM

3. Harry Nilsson, Son of Schmilsson

4. Uriah Heep, The Magician's Birthday

5. Blue Öyster Cult, Secret Treaties

6. Yes, Fragile

7. Black Sabbath, Master of Reality

8. Alice Cooper, School's Out

9. Jethro Tull, Thick as a Brick

10. Thurl Ravenscroft, Walt Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean

For Me Or Agin Me

If I seem rancorous regarding the current political atmosphere, remember that many, by no means all, but many, Trump supporters are the same ones who referred to Obama for eight years as the N-word-in-Chief. And that includes many leaders in Congress.

I have to admit, or warn in advance, depending on how you look at it, that for right now I am mostly interested in preaching to the choir. My blog is for me to post my jokes, my thoughts, and my opinions for those who care to hear them.

I want to be politically incorrect without someone who doesn't have my best interests at heart looking over my shoulder. As my hero Judge Judy would say, my playpen, my rules.

Also, as anyone who knows me can attest, I love when someone disagrees with me, and pokes fun at my expense. In many cases I am intentionally inviting it, but I know when someone gets the point and/or the punchline, and when someone doesn't want to. I just don't have the time and patience for that.

I just feel too old, too sick, and too tired to care any more what anyone thinks. I want to get "Volume 2" of Man of Words (my monumental two volume masterpiece, hailed as The Great American Novel - mostly by myself) published, so I can move on to new projects.

To paraphrase two former presidents of the United States,  "Read my lips. Either you are with me, or you are with the trumporists."

What's in a Name?

You know, I never thought of it before, but the initials of the last names of the three great political assassinations of the 60s - President John F. Kennedy, Dr. Martin Luther King, and Democratic presidential candidate Senator Robert F. Kennedy - spell KKK.

But don't worry, it's not a conspiracy.