Bless Your Heart

I heard this joke and immediately thought of my dear friend Darlene, a warm, sharp, beautiful, Georgia peach, the living embodiment of a charming southern belle. She is a tireless warrior for Transverse Myelitis recognition and research funding. TM is the neurological disease that put me in a wheelchair, and which claimed the life of her young son late last year.

Despite the unimaginable grief she is bearing, she remains a committed advocate for the TM community. While coping with her loss, her faith in God remains unshakable, and she retains the ability to laugh through the tears.

The joke:

Mary Sue, Brenda Sue, and Linda Sue were sitting on their front porch in Tifton, Georgia, on a hot afternoon, drinking lemon drops with a little extra vodka. After a while, Mary Sue said, "When I had my first baby, my husband gave me a brand-new Cadillac ragtop automobile."

Brenda Sue said, "What a marvelous, generous man he is," and Linda Sue said, "Well, bless your heart."

And they drank some more lemon drops, with a little extra vodka, and then Brenda Sue said, "When I had my first baby, my husband gave me a brand-new split-level house, with central air." Mary Sue said, "That's such a magnificent gesture. You must've been so proud." And Linda Sue said, "Well, bless your heart."

And they had a few more lemon drops, with a little extra vodka, and Mary Sue asked Linda Sue, "What'd you get when you had your first baby, Linda Sue?" And Linda Sue said, "When I had my first baby, my husband sent me off to Switzerland, to go to charm school."

Mary Sue said, "Charm School? Well, did you find that helpful, Linda Sue?"

Linda Sue said, "Oh, ever so much. I used to just say, 'Fuck you.' Now I say, 'Well, bless your heart.'"