New Olympic Sport - Synchronized Shitting!
As soon as the reporters hit the Sochi hotels, the stories started coming out. Due to time constraints and lack of money, Russian officials decided that corners must be cut. Some complaints were serious (undrinkable water, feral dogs roaming the halls, no hot water, rooms without beds and curtains, no Internet access, no working elevators). One journalist tweeted: "My hotel has no water. If restored, the front desk says, 'Do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous'."
And some were funny - "When we finally got to our room the doorknob came off in my hand." When a U.S. bobsledder found himself trapped in the shower, and could not summon help, he simply "used [his] bobsled push training to break out." A teammate explained, "We were next door and we could hear some pounding and muffled noises, but we thought it was construction."
Shower curtains were selling briskly on the black market. But this was easily explained. During a news conference, when Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Kozak was asked about conditions in the hotels, he became defensive and blurted out, "We have surveillance video from the hotels that shows people turn on the shower and direct the nozzle at the wall." Russian handlers at the scene, hurried a flustered Kozak quickly away from the podium.
In fact, when a CNN representative tweeted the President of the Sochi Olympic Organizing Committee, "Our hotel is not ready, Dmitry. Please help," Dmitry tweeted back, "You just need to turn around and look at the mountains."
It was a small comfort however, that ALL the rooms were provided with a framed photograph of Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Other notables weighed in. Russian diva Anna Netrebko, who sang the Olympic Anthem during the Opening Ceremony, remarked, "It’s not about luxury here, it’s about sport.” The chief operating officer for the hotel construction company said, “The hotel’s construction ended in mid January, so some smells of [industrial] glue could be there.”
The picture above highlights another cost saving measure. The athletes' accommodations featured dual toilets in the bathrooms. Obviously this was designed as a way to further enhance the sense of camaraderie among the Olympians.
When one U.S. athlete was asked if he was enjoying his lodgings in the Olympic Village, he simply answered, "Nyet!"
It would be funny if it weren't true. Stupid governments!
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