Confession Is Good For the Soul

I happened to catch an old, black and white episode of Perry Mason, starring Raymond Burr, last night. The first half of the show was a cocktail party and all the guests were trash talking about the other guests behind their backs. Of course, one of the partygoers was found murdered, and the lead suspect was the daughter of a friend of Mason's. The police take the suspect into custody.

When we return from a commercial break, we're now in the courtroom. We hear from the chief detective and county coroner, and the prosecution calls it's next witness. Mason stands up for cross-examination, walks up to the witness box and says, "You say your name is so and so," and the witness leans forward in the box and shouts out, "I confess! I did it! I can't take this questioning anymore!"

But then a guy in the gallery stands up and says, "No, I did it! After the witness on the stand left the victim, he was alive and I finished him off. I can't take looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life!"

Everyone is looking at the man in the gallery, when all of a sudden a guy bursts through the courtroom doors and yells out, "No, I did it! I was hiding behind the curtains, and after seeing the first guy stab the victim, and the second guy shoot the victim, he was STILL alive and I strangled him."

As all the spectators stare at the new guy, a bailiff walks up to Mason and hands him an envelope. Mason opens it and reads the letter, then says, "If it please the court, I've just been handed this letter." Then he reads: "My name is doctor so and so, and I lead a team of relief workers in an African country. I was in town on the night in question for a symposium, and it was I who killed the victim. After I found him stabbed, shot, and strangled, I hit him over the head with the art deco ashtray you found smashed at the scene. I will be turning myself in as soon as the tse tse fly epidemic is brought under control."

The judge bangs his gavel and says, "The defendant is free to go. The court will now recess for lunch."

Della Street and Paul Drake congratulate Perry. Show ends with theme song.

Great stuff!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT4wkkkaFTc (Theme Song)