The Grossest Joke I've Ever Heard

My dad told me this joke. It is the grossest joke I've ever heard. Interestingly, it achieves that distinction without any sexual reference whatsoever, and even without a single cuss word. Be that as it may, you have been warned. This is the grossest joke I've ever heard.

The Grossest Joke I've Ever Heard

A guy walks into a saloon, and on the floor, in the very center of the long, wooden bar is a big, brass spittoon. The motley crowd takes turns spitting tobacco juice, hawking up loogies, and honking snot into the spittoon.

The guy walks up to the bar and says, "For $20 I'll drink that spittoon."

The scuzzy patrons go wild, and one after another slaps a silver dollar on the bartop saying, "I'm in for a dollar to see that."

$20 is quickly gathered, and a circle forms around the guy as he lifts the spittoon to his lips.

Before the gawking eyes and hanging jaws of the uncouth crowd, he tilts it back and starts to chug. One of the unwashed barflys grabs his stomach, turns his head and wretches his guts out onto the sawdust covered floorboards.

Moans ricochet around the saloon, as calls of "STOP! STOP!" are shouted out. As one glassy-eyed denizen after another empties the contents of their stomachs, voices cry out "STOP! STOP! You've won the bet. You've proved your point."

Yet still, the guy continues to chug down the noisome effluent in the spittoon.

Several of the throng have fainted, the bar reeks with the stench of bile. More pleas of "STOP! Please Stop! Take your money, we'll pay you more to stop!" escape from constricted throats.

Finally the guy empties the last vile drop from the spittoon, sets it down, smacks his lips, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

As he gathers his money, the men, green around the gills, look at him weakly and say, "We told you you won the bet, we told you to take the money, why didn't you stop!?"

The guy says, "I couldn't. It was all one long strand."