Roadside Crosses

Just outside of town, at a rural intersection, off to the side of a road we frequent, are two wooden crosses. One is about four feet tall, and the other is about two. The white paint is kept fresh, and throughout the year, they are adorned with seasonal bouquets.

Nik and I were going Christmas shopping this morning, and as we drove by the crosses, they had Santa hats pulled down over the tops.

The Pupik Protocol

I messaged my sister to ask her if she could get me a pound of schmaltz. I said I looked everywhere except the black market. A few facts first. I live in rural Illinois farm country, and the only kind of market you're likely to find out here is a farmers' market. Second, my sister lives in a north Chicago suburb, where schmaltz is easy to get your hands on - so to speak. Third, for those of you who don't know what in the world I'm talking about, schmaltz is rendered chicken fat, long prized by Jewish grandmothers in the making of matzoh balls.

But then the thought hit me, I bet the words "black market" set off a red flag somewhere at NSA Headquarters.

I could picture some guy leaning back in his chair and calling out, "Hey, I got some guy here trying to move a pound of something called 'schmaltz.' Anyone ever hear that one before?"

There's silence all around the room till some guy in the back with a long hooked nose and an intelligent forehead stands up and says, "Well, 'schmaltz' is the Yiddish word for chicken fat. It's used in traditional recipes. When it's refrigerated, it becomes opaque and gelatinous. Not unlike plastic explosives. A pound could do a lot of damage."

Ya, and it could also make one hell of a soup.

Christmas Classified

WANTED: BABY

Stephen J. Dunn has a seasonal position open for a baby to play the infant Jesus in a living creche to be displayed on his front lawn.

The successful candidate will be between 0-6 weeks old, weigh 6-10 lbs, and be 18-22 inches in length. Some experience preferred.

Must enjoy animals, drum solos, and laying in mangers.

Position lasts until Epiphany on January 6th, 2016, pending the arrival of Three Wise Men, provided three wise men can be found.

Mr. Dunn will supply training and swaddling clothes as needed.

Zen

A cop pulls a guy over, and the strong smell of alcohol wafts over him when the driver rolls down his window.

"Sir," says the cop, "I'm placing you under arrest for driving under the influence."

The quick-thinking driver adopts a Zen-like pose, and says, "No, Officer. I'm like two rivers joining together to become one."

"Fine," says the cop, "I'm arresting you for driving under the confluence."

Frozen Thanksgiving

For the past decade, our tradition, if you will, has been to spend a quiet Thanksgiving at home. For my wife, who works full-time and has a long commute twice a day, driving long distances to a relative's house is no vacation.

Instead, she gets to sleep late, skip the shower, and put on comfy clothes. We enjoy a leisurely cup of coffee, have a light brunch, and cuddle up for an afternoon of football.

That being said, the one thing we don't skimp on is the meal. But we eschew (no pun intended) the ubiquitous turkey for more wide-ranging (and free-ranging) fare. Duck is a perennial favorite, but we've served a ground venison and cranberry meatloaf, moose roast, North Carolina country ham, and one year, an Atlantic Coast seafood feast. We've accompanied these main courses with all manner of unusual side dishes.

Our Thanksgiving evenings ended with homemade mile-high apple pie, sour-cherry pie, butterscotch cream pie, sweet potato pie with a shot of good Kentucky bourbon, pumpkin cheesecake in an Oreo cookie crust, and one time, an egg custard baked in a pumpkin shell.

But this year we're pulling out all the stops. We're not cooking at all. We'll be having Marie Callender's turkey pot pie, Stouffer's spinach souffle, canned cranberry sauce (whole and jellied), and for dessert, we bought a beautiful Marie Callender's pumpkin streusel pecan pie.

So, while you're slaving away in the kitchen before dinner, and scrubbing pots and pans after dinner, we'll be thinking of you - and giving thanks it's not us.

Steve and Shellie's Washington DC Vacation

The International Spy Museum

A cleverly inconspicuous locale

007's Astin Martin

Yours truly conducting signals intelligence

God - the first spymaster

Beware of gift horses

Be careful what you say while feeding the pigeons

The women who can claim this are rare indeed

(Don't send me any letters)

The father of the KGB

The notorious Enigma machine

Chinatown

As opposed to Illegal Sea Foods, which was just down the block

Wok right in

Best food in the District

Spanning East and West

One of many Federal buildings

The Lincoln Memorial

Old Abe looks down on the ages

The writing on the wall

The symbol of a united nation

The weight of the nation bears on this visage

The hand that freed a half-million souls in chains and sent

six-hundred-and-forty-thousand men to their deaths

In a word - awesome

Pictures cannot do justice to the power of this gaze

One-hundred-and-fifty years a martyr to his convictions

A unique perspective of a unique man

A profile in courage

Perhaps my best vacation photo

A stately pose on a cool, clear evening

The Memorial from afar

The World War II Memorial

My home state

A tribute to those who served

A city of monuments, memorials, and fountains

A pantheon of wreaths and water

One of many pivotal moments in history

In Washington DC, the Monument looms large

Where my father-in-law served

A member of the French resistance

The proud daughter

Looking back at one Memorial from another

Where we waited for a cab back to the hotel

The Jefferson Memorial across the Tidal Basin

that alas, we did not have time to visit

The Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum

The Grand Foyer

Rockets, missiles, and planes

(trains and automobiles need not apply)

An early jet

It would not be easy to spot this color

Lunar lander

These feet landed men on the moon

Hanging around the A&S Museum

Bombs away

A propeller - how quaint

Now boarding

Coffee, tea, or milk

TWA?

Many historic aircraft on display

Don't forget your swim suit

Can you hear me now?

Straight out of Jules Verne

What would space exploration be without some suds?

Vintage sign

Wilbur flew ten feet off the ground

The Gemini capsule flew slightly higher

Room for three

Tomahawk cruise missile - the only way to bomb

  

NASA optometrists making a house call

America's space delivery vehicle

A commemorative quilt to the Challenger crew

Ready for liftoff

A massive rocket engine

A universe comes into view

The earliest spy plane

Space trash

Taking a break

Check's in the mail

Our United Air Lines flight to our lunch stop...

 DGS Delicatessen

I had to go to DC to find a decent kosher deli

Sauces and mustards to go

I had this tattooed across my wife's behind

Pickles, pickles, and more pickles

Great views everywhere

Arlington National Cemetery

The remains of Navy Specialist First Class George M and Marian A DeYoung

WWII veteran cap and insignia

Now entombed inperpetuity

The Hiker guards the entrance to ANC

Have gun will travel

Ted's Montana Grill

The family celebrates the passing of a generation

Dawn and Paulette

Dawn and Paulette

Some smiling faces - some not so much

Michael and Suzanne

Paulette, Les, and family friends

Another family friend and pretty Amber

Waiting for bison steaks, bison burgers, bison chili, and bison meatloaf

In honor of a mother and father, grandparents, great grandparents and beloved friends

On tour at Arlington National Cemetery

Resting place of the most decorated serviceman of WWII

Endless rows of markers stand at attention...

...in place of endless rows of cotton

The plantation of Robert E Lee...

...is now the nation's resting place

The soaring Air Force Memorial in the distance

It's spires inspiring future pilots

One of many unique markers at ANC

Marble grows from the rich Virginia soil

A cross stands watch over the fallen

Seas of graves ride the rolling hillsides like waves

The entrance to the Visitors Center which houses a wonderful museum and gift shop

A brief bit of rain then a beautiful day to explore

An old stone wall borders a section

A beautiful bronze with me in the background

The Navy Seal

The Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial

We visited at night and photos were hard to take,

too dark without a flash

and too washed-out with a flash

If we can Photoshop these, I'll replace them

Two distinguished men in wheelchairs

(maybe one more distinguished than the other)

Lights illuminate the name of a luminary

A bronze eagle emblem

Quotations adorn the stone blocks

America's most precious resource is its people

The great man understood this 70 years ago

The ubiquitous Monument seen across the Tidal Basin

The spire pierces the night sky

The only thing we have to fear

Too dark

Too light

Clothes and dignity reduced to tatters

A powerful portrait of depression cast in bronze

A dark picture of a dark time

Faces of despair

Ranks of the destitute

A depiction of the Memorial in Braille

Four panels tell the story of four terms as president

Few lights are needed to tell a tale of desperation and war

A grim tribute to grim times

Tumbled blocks represent a tumbled nation

But one man led the country through it all

A dozen years in office sculpted this face

Cloaked in the robes of a statesman

Accompanied by his faithful friend Fala

The man who led the country out of shadow, sits in shadow for all time

Shellie pets the country's beloved First Pet

Children (and adults) have burnished the Scottish Terrier's ears

Fala outlived his master by 7 years

The depth of hard decisions are chiseled deep

As is the depth of compassion

Another profile in courage

And another

And another

A great lady to stand alongside a great man

The conscience of a nation

First Lady whether in or out of the White House

The eminent Eleanor Roosevelt

On our way to our final destination 

From the rear of a taxi, the old Harbor Master's House

Last but not least

The United States Botanic Gardens

A whimsical sculpture

A hanging basket in the Tropics room

Ferns hide a bubbling pool in the Tropics room

The graceful fronds of tropical ferns

Products made from medicinal plants

How many of these have you taken?

Who knew they grew pineapples in Washington DC?

Papayas oozing with sweet nectar

A burst of color in the Orchid room

The warmth and humidity soothed our dry sinuses

They seem to grow from solid rock

Delicate beauty

An infinite variety of color

A subtle perfume

Unique monikers

A riot of growth

Mandarin oranges

Water bubbles from an urn

The Desert room

Cacti come in many shapes

Pitcher plants waiting for an unwary fly

Not all gardens are made with flowers

A border of cacti and succulents

(Hush up, that's not a dirty word)

Cactus patch

Brain cactus (if you don't believe me, zoom in on the sign)

I rode through the desert on a horse with no name

A denizen of the Primeval room

Ferns from the dawn of time

The last dinosaur

Cute and cuddly

Proof positive dinosaurs still roam

Random shots

Oops, a bit of container peeks from the rocks

Backtracking through the Desert room

Time enough to stop and smell the roses

Cactus roses, that is

A Victorian terrarium

Of a Victorian garden

One more pretty pink flower

From outside the Botanic Gardens, the Capitol encased in scaffolding

Lovely faces adorn the Botanic Gardens' facade

And some not so lovely

Sitting outside the Gardens, waiting for our final taxi ride

Trying to use up the roll of film in my digital camera

The damn thing keeps giving me one more shot...sheesh

One of the endless statues in the District, this one sits outside the Botanic Gardens

Vistas and panoramas are everywhere you look

A bronze broods in this study of the Garfield statue

I'm getting bored waiting for the taxi

An upper arch at Union Station, Washington DC

Good bye Washington, a good time was had by Al