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Saturday, January 28, 2017

I Have A Bean Today

When asked about some of his favorite dishes, Martin Luther King, Jr. replied that what he liked best were "real down-home foods" such as pork chops, fried chicken, pig's feet, black-eyed peas, and turnip greens.

Like those who joined hands to march for equality, over a dozen different beans, peas, and lentils come together in one delicious and nutritious dish.

I Have A Bean Today Soup

Serves 10

Ingredients

20 ounce bag Hurst 15 bean soup mix
6 smoked ham hocks
2 large dried bay leaves
6-8 strips bacon
2 stalks celery, finely chopped
2 carrots, peeled and finely chopped
2 parsnips, peeled and finely chopped
1 green pepper, finely chopped
1 yellow onion, finely chopped
1 shallot, finely chopped
1 leek - white and pale green parts only - rinsed thoroughly, and finely chopped
1 small butternut squash, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch chunks
2 tablespoons fresh thyme, finely chopped
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
Vegetable or chicken broth as needed
1 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon cumin
Salt and freshly cracked pepper
Tabasco sauce
Fresh chives, finely chopped, for garnish
Sour cream, for garnish

Directions

Day before or early in day, place hocks in Dutch oven or stock pot and cover with 10 cups water. Add 1 bay leaf. Bring to boil, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 2 and 1/2 hours. Remove from heat. Remove hocks to large bowl and allow to cool. When hocks are cool enough to handle, remove meat to small bowl and refrigerate. Discard skin, fat, and bones. Allow stock to cool to room temperature and refrigerate.

Approximately 3 and 1/2 hours before serving time, prepare beans. Discard artificial ham flavoring packet, if included with bean mix. Rinse and sort beans and place in Dutch oven on stove. Add 10 cups of water, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1 bay leaf. Bring to full boil, reduce heat to simmer. Cover and simmer for 1 and 1/2 hours.

While beans cook, prepare vegetables. In large frying pan, saute bacon just until crisp. Lay bacon strips on paper towels. In bacon grease, saute celery, carrots, parsnips, green pepper, onion, shallot, leek, and squash until soft. Just before veggies are done, toss in garlic and thyme for 1 minute to bloom flavor and aroma. Remove vegetables to bowl.

Retrieve bowl of hock stock from fridge. Remove layer of fat from top. You know you've done it right if fat comes cleanly away from broth that has turned to gelatin.

Carefully pour gelatin/broth into frying pan. Add enough boxed chicken or vegetable broth to make about 10 cups total. Bring to simmer.

Drain beans. Discard bay leaf. Return beans to Dutch oven. Add sauteed vegetables and stir. Add turmeric, cumin, 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1 teaspoon pepper, and stir. Carefully pour hot broth into Dutch oven. Stir. Bring to boiling, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 1 additional hour.

Add the reserved meat from the ham hocks to the Dutch oven. Quickly chop the cooked bacon strips and add to Dutch oven. Allow to heat through for 15 minutes.

Remove from heat and add 12 drops Tabasco to pot (place bottle of Tabasco on table for those who like it hotter). Stir thoroughly. Ladle into bowls. Top with dollop of sour cream and sprinkling of chopped chives.

My wife baked homemade bread to serve with this, but a good store-bought crusty loaf will do. Remember to let a stick of butter soften on the counter before serving.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Veggie Bin Bake

The beauty of this dish is that any combination of chicken parts and root vegetables will work. Don't have sweet potatoes? Russets or reds would be fine (be sure to leave the skins on). Shallots instead of onions? Brilliant. No unsalted butter? Use regular, old, salted butter, by all means. An unused parsnip or turnip (or Hooterville rutabaga) from soup-making lying around? Peel and let join the festivities. Any vegetable oil will work (except olive, I just didn't want that flavor here) because it is mainly to keep the butter from burning.

Serves 4

Ingredients

4 bone-in chicken legs*
4 bone-in chicken thighs*
16 frozen Brussels sprouts, defrosted
2 sweet potatoes, peeled, cut into 1-inch pieces
4 medium beets, peeled, cut into 2-inch chunks
16 baby carrots 
2 medium yellow onions, peeled and halved
8 large garlic cloves, peeled
3 tablespoons peanut oil
1 and 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, melted
3 teaspoons Penzey's Fox Point Seasoning**

*4 bone-in, skin-on, chicken breasts may be substituted for the legs and thighs

**Penzey's is a small, ecologically minded, Wisconsin company that imports and blends fabulous spices that will add a whole new dimension to your cooking (beyond the ubiquitous store bought McBrand). We use Fox Point Seasoning - hand-mixed from salt, shallots, chives, garlic, onion, and green peppercorns - in place of salt and pepper in many of our favorite dishes, from scrambled eggs to prime rib. Go to:

Directions

Set oven rack to center position, and preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Place prepared vegetables in large bowl. Sprinkle 2 teaspoons Penzey's Fox Point Seasoning over veggies and toss. On stove, in a small saucepan, melt 1 stick unsalted butter. Stir 2 tablespoons peanut oil into butter. Pour butter over veggies and toss to coat evenly. Arrange veggies on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet.

Place chicken pieces in veggie bowl. Sprinkle 1 teaspoon Penzey's Fox Point Seasoning over chicken and toss. On stove, melt one-half stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter. Stir 1 tablespoon peanut oil into butter. Pour butter over chicken and toss to coat evenly. Arrange chicken nestled among or atop veggies on cookie sheet.

Place cookie sheet in preheated oven, and roast for one hour. Meaty part of thigh should read 165 degrees F. Remove from oven. Divide veggies equally on dinner plates. Place one leg and one thigh on each plate.



Bondage (and I'm Not Talking Peeing Hookers Here)

[This post is intended as social satire. Troll comments will be deleted and blocked at my discretion.]

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I could not believe this, but I checked it out with several online sources, so it must be true. President Trump has his Chief-of-Staff, Reince Priebus, looking into the legal obstacles to reinstating slavery by use of Executive Order to rescind the Emancipation Proclamation. They want to create a DNA registry, and anyone descended from a former slave would be returned to the heirs of the original owners.

Monday, January 23, 2017

You Don't Have to Respect the Man, but You Must Respect the Office

I returned home last evening after my first trip to the ER and hospital stay of the new year. I haven't been eating or sleeping well for several months. I have lost a lot of weight, I was weak, dehydrated, and was struggling. Last Wednesday, my wife and son rushed me to the ER because I could feel my body shutting down.

I don't remember any of the intake process or being transferred to a room, but I woke up to the usual assortment of tubes coming out of my body and beeping medical equipment. After five days I was stable enough to be discharged. I did okay last night, and so far I am resting comfortably this morning, but there's a long way to go. I have a home health nurse coming in at noon today, and of course my son is here taking care of me.

Now, I am going to relate one very off color story here, so if you think you may be offended, or easily grossed out, STOP reading.

It was interesting to be in a medical facility during this time because, without exception, there were no Trump fans in the house. Friday morning, which I had the duty nurse write-in on my room whiteboard as Black Friday, I had the inaugural on in the background.

Do purely to the nurses' rotation schedule, they came in to work on me as the high officials arrived at the Capitol. Part of the routine was for the nurses to administer a suppository and get me on a bedside commode. They left me with the call button and gave me a little privacy. I sat and watched the proceedings.

The nurses had been giving me something called a brown bomber - a concoction of prune juice, orange juice, and milk of magnesia. As the president-elect approached the podium, I could feel the deep grumblings and pressure build, and as he placed his hand on the bible and began to repeat the oath, I let loose (the operative word being 'loose').

I took a Trump dump. It was satisfying on many levels.

P.S. I won't even mention my Hail to the Chief sonata.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Pack Attack

My younger son Ben stopped by before the start of the Green Bay-Cowboys game.

Ben: I hope the Cowboys kick their ass.
Me: I'm going with the Packers.
Ben: Why? You hate cheeseheads.
Me: I lived in Texas. I didn't like the people. They were Trump people. I don't like Trump people.
Ben: I'm a Trump people.
Me: I know.

Unorthodox

I am traditional, as opposed to conservative, and take an orthodox approach... No, no. Let me rephrase that.

I do not like the uber-liberals, any more than I like the uber-conservatives. Although I have nothing against Uber drivers. In fact, my son is one. A driver, I mean.

Wait, let me try again. I consider myself to be a social progressive, but since I am basically anti-social, I am simply a progressive. I looked up the word progressive, and saw that one definition is he who pursues a reform policy - which takes me back to my first paragraph.

I'll repost when I figure this thing out.

Blast from the Past

My friend Bob recently posted this:
I had fun thinking back!!! List 10 albums that made a lasting impression on you as a TEENAGER, but only one per band/artist. Don't take too long and don't think too long.
Here is my response:

Hey Bob, I let this question ruminate for a bit, then I did as you suggested, and quickly jotted down the records that came to mind. In no particular order...

1. Pink Floyd, The Dark Side of the Moon
2. George Carlin, FM & AM
3. Harry Nilsson, Son of Schmilsson
4. Uriah Heep, The Magician's Birthday
5. Blue Öyster Cult, Secret Treaties
6. Yes, Fragile
7. Black Sabbath, Master of Reality
8. Alice Cooper, School's Out
9. Jethro Tull, Thick as a Brick
10. Thurl Ravenscroft, Walt Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean