Afterbirth

The National Institute of Mental Health defines postpartum depression as "a mood disorder that can affect women (and men) after childbirth. Parents with postpartum depression experience feelings of extreme sadness, anxiety, and exhaustion that may make it difficult for them to complete daily care activities for themselves or for others."

After the publication of Volume 2 of my book in April, my wife said I was suffering from postpartum depression. Neither of us were making light of this catastrophic condition. I was not sleeping at night, but spending all day under the covers with the drapes closed and the lights off. I was not eating, and only taking my meds when my family forced me to. I went weeks without booting up my laptop. I swore I would never write another word as long as I lived, as if anyone would notice or care. I felt old, useless, washed up. A has-been that never was. I felt bad for my grandchildren having to grow up in today's world, but my fight was over. I'd given it all I had.

Postpartum depression can be successfully treated with therapy and medications, but left untreated can last for months or years, and can, in rare cases, lead to tragedy.

For more on postpartum depression, visit the NIMH website at:

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/postpartum-depression-facts/index.shtml

Neither I nor my wife were relating my condition, which was actually a bipolar episode, to the feeling of devastation that accompanies postpartum, but I can attest to the depths of that bottomless well of despair, fear, and loss of oneself.

The light that brought me out of myself was the image on my TV screen of a car ramming into a crowd of pedestrians, leaving a young woman dead. Not in Europe. Not in the Middle East. In a college town in Virginia.

The car was driven not by a Muslim terrorist or a Mexican gangbanger, but a twenty-year-old, white male from Ohio.

The president of the United States stood before the world and said that Klansmen, neo-nazis, and white supremacists were the victims, and people standing up to the hate were criminals.

I have never been so angry in my fifty-nine years of life as I am over what happened in Charlottesville and its aftermath. Yes, I hated Nixon, Reagan, and Bushes 1 and 2, but I never seriously considered laying down my life in protest. That has now changed. Although the physical fight must be left to others because my wheelchair would be more of a hindrance than a help,* I now publicly vow that I am dedicating the rest of my time on earth to fighting the current administration and everything it stands for. *(My friend Bob did volunteer to push me and ram into people's Achilles Heels.)

I know I'm way out of my league here, but this is what the History Channel has to say about slavery:

A system of restrictive codes governed life among slaves. They were prohibited from learning to read and write, and their behavior and movement was restricted. Many masters took sexual liberties with slave women, and rewarded obedient slave behavior with favors, while rebellious slaves were brutally punished.

Of course, this says nothing about the raids on African villages, the iron collars, the chains, the festering holds of slave ships, the backbreaking labor, the whips, the hobblings, the brandings. But as I say, I'm way out of my league here.

A little closer to home, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum states:

The Holocaust was the systematic, bureaucratic, state-sponsored persecution and murder of six million Jews by the Nazi regime and its collaborators.

Again, this does little to conjure up pictures of the concentration camps, the gas chambers, and the "Final Solution" which included tossing children alive into brick ovens.

The site's Home Page also points out that although Jews (whom the Nazis deemed a priority danger to Germany) were the primary victims of Nazi racism, others perceived as "racially inferior," included Gypsies; mentally or physically disabled patients; Slavic peoples (mainly Poles and Russians); Jehovah's Witnesses; and homosexuals.

Ah, speaking of homosexuals, Wikipedia explains:

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people face violence motivated by hateful attitudes towards their sexuality or gender identity. Violence may be executed by the state, as in laws prescribing corporal punishment for homosexual acts, or by individuals engaging in intimidation, mobbing, assault, or lynching. Violence targeted at people because of their perceived sexuality can be psychological or physical and can extend to murder. These actions may be motivated by homophobia... and may be influenced by cultural, religious, or political mores and biases.

Or maybe just good, old, American bigotry, racism, intolerance, and hatred.

Most people say the president is divisive, but I disagree. I think he did us a favor. After his speech yesterday in Arizona, he singlehandedly did away with civil rights, black rights, women's rights, gay rights, et al., and united them into one massive movement for HUMAN rights.

I cannot look at Trump's ignorant, smug, lying, ugly face and not feel revulsion, shame, and disbelief that someone so inherently and gloatingly evil is the president of our country. (My therapist says I should stop holding back.)

Counterprotesters hurled into the air after they were struck by car

Photo by Ryan Kelly, Charlottesville Daily Progress