I worked for many years in my dream job as the assistant manager of the gourmet food department in an upscale wine and cheese store. The pride and glory of the grocery was a floor to ceiling, open-air, cheese case, from which we hand cut to order, some of the finest artisan cheeses from around the world. I referred to myself as a cheesemonger, while my son dubbed me the only known specimen of the North American Bald-Headed Cheesegeezer.* I stayed in the position until spring of 2009, when a progressive spinal cord disease put me in a wheelchair.
So it is with some embarrassment that I admit to often using pre-shredded, packaged cheeses in my cooking. I have no excuse other than convenience (also known as laziness). That is until I read an online article this morning about several brands of pre-shredded cheeses, carried as house brands of such major grocery chains as Jewel and Walmart. I know that shredded cheeses are processed with a small amount of plant cellulose, a fancy way of saying wood pulp, to avoid clumping, but these brands tested at 100% to 400% above FDA regulations, the products containing filler which accounts for almost 10% of the total packaging by weight.
I shared the post on my wife's Timeline, and we commented back and forth a bit, to the effect that we would no longer be buying pre-shredded cheeses. I logged out of Facebook to take care of some other things, but when I checked my Timeline later in the morning, I noticed the post was no longer there. This is the subsequent email conversation I had with my wife:
Stephen Dunn <holidayman58@yahoo.com> To Celeste Dunn Today at 2:08 PM
Hi hon, I had some trouble with FB. I guess I double tapped it and opened it twice. I posted a few pieces, including the one about the grated cheese, in the open program. I closed FB, then realized there was another FB open. I closed that too, but when I reopened FB and went to my Timeline, the ones I posted weren't there. I went to your Timeline and they weren't there either. I know we commented a few times about the cheese.
Celeste Dunn <shellie****@gmail.com> To Stephen Dunn Today at 2:10 PM
Hi love,
Damn! It's gone from my timeline as well. WTF!!!
Sometimes I just HATE FB.
Stephen Dunn <holidayman58@yahoo.com> To Celeste Dunn Today at 2:30 PM
Ya, it had something to do with me opening the program twice. It's like the "real" program opened first, but the "copy" program overlaid a fraction of a second later. I entered those posts on the "copy" and when I closed the program, it disappeared. When I reopened the "real" program, of course, the posts weren't there because they never had been. I've had this trouble before with Yahoo. I've double tapped and had conversations with people all day long, and then the next day, the emails are gone like they never even happened.
Celeste Dunn <shellie****@gmail.com> To Stephen Dunn Today at 2:31 PM
Well, then, stop double clicking!
Actually, you need to get in the habit of checking the tabs at the top of your browser to be sure there is only one instance opened.
I hate when those things happen!!!!
Stephen Dunn <holidayman58@yahoo.com> To Celeste Dunn Today at 2:48 PM
Actually, what I think really happened was that the NSA picked up the code phrases "shredded cheese" and "wood pulp," and passed the information on to the Wisconsin Cheese Council, who turned the screws on the Illinois Retail Association, who dispatched their top lobbyist to consult with a certain congressman, whose chief of staff placed a discrete call to a lawyer, a former federal prosecutor, who spoke to another attorney in a glass walled office high above the city, one of whom's clients happened to be Yahoo, who spoke to the chairman, who spoke to the CEO, who spoke to security, who spoke to IT, who deleted the post.
Or I could have double tapped...
Celeste Dunn <shellie****@gmail.com> To Stephen Dunn Today at 2:54 PM
ROTFLMAO
Stephen Dunn <holidayman58@yahoo.com> To Celeste Dunn Today at 3:02 PM
Interpol is not going to have corporate [my wife works for the U.S. headquarters of a Swiss-owned company] fire you because you're exchanging these subversive thoughts on company time, are they?
Celeste Dunn <shellie****@gmail.com> To Stephen Dunn Today at 3:05 PM
Perhaps, but it would be so worth it to be on Interpol's Most Wanted!
[To be fair, she also said -]
NOT!
(Or maybe yes. I am a rebel at heart.)
Read the article at: bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-02-16/the-parmesan-cheese-you-sprinkle-on-your-penne-could-be-wood
*NORTH AMERICAN BALD-HEADED CHEESEGEEZER
North American Bald-headed Cheesegeezer (Cheesegeezerus Unamiabalus): Middle-aged male mammal once native to southwestern Chicago, the Cheesegeezer has been slowly migrating westward for the last several decades, and was last sighted in the environs of Somonauk. Recently placed on the endangered species list (there is reputedly only one left in the wild), this unique specimen mates for life, selecting its mate as the female is walking away from the camera. Subsisting mainly on Spam and Velveeta, the Cheesegeezer also enjoys a variety of desserts, especially hot fudge sundaes from the Dairy Joy in Hinckley. The Bald-headed Cheesegeezer derives its name from its propensity to distribute its curds throughout DuPage County. Naturalists who have studied this bizarre behavior are at a loss to explain it, but think it may have something to do with an innate mongering instinct. The Cheesegeezer can often be observed at work during regular business hours, but approach with caution. When agitated the Cheesegeezer may throw its stinkiest rinds across the counter at unsuspecting customers.
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